Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Growing Boredom

214 - So I got this massive Chocolate cake for Mothers day to give to my wife (so I could eat it of course). Now this thing is 7 pounds of pure sugar and fudge and is honestly the best tasting thing on the planet. The only problem with that is that you constantly want to eat it and it fills you up so bad. Basically, it's like injecting pure sugar an fat into your bloodstream as my wife puts it, but oh, is it good! The consumption of this much cake makes for an ever expanding waistline that unfortunately has been a bane to me for as long as I can remember.

My boredom from my job is growing unfortunately just as fast. It seems that they pile as many menial tasks as possible into one position, make it impossible to do them all with any sort of consistency, for the sole purpose to have someone to blame in case anything goes wrong. Mind you, I haven't done anything wrong, nor been accused of doing something wrong, but the mundane rhetoric of my job and its importance in the overall scheme of things is so underwhelming. I mean, here I am on one of the biggest lots in Hollywood, employed by one of the most successful movie studio's and I am not doing anything remotely related to movies (unless you consider keeping track of subscriptions and golf carts vital to the production). I do have contacts all over the studio though and would really love to move into creative. That's the place where they have say over what movies they are going to do, casting, sets, production etc. I would love to be a part of that. It seems to me that creativity is a fleeting and precious gift that is given to all. If that gift isn't constantly honed and practiced it becomes dormant, and eventually leaves. Sometimes I feel creatively stagnant and I can attribute it to these cubicle walls. Who though up office cubicles on a movie lot anyways...Oh yeah, the New York Corporation that bought us out!

My comfort comes from the end of the day when I get to see my family. It is a healing time when your family is excited to see you and you get to spend time talking and eating and just being together. My son and I went to the museum together to see dinosaurs and butterflies. He does this little happy dance where his feet march away standing in place and his arms flap wildly as he takes in whatever he is seeing. Watching him do that and exclaim "see daddy" makes my job bearable knowing that I am doing this for them. It's like feeling the baby grow in my wife's belly that fills you with a sense of awe and wonder and you realize you are willing to go through anything for them, a bad job, a bad whatever just so they can grow up happy. Somewhere there is resolution to this but right now I am content to live with a lackluster job, and a remarkable family.
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