Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Avengers: Bum Numbing Sense Bombardment of Awesome!

So this may not be the best or most objective review of the Avengers out there for the mere fact that I had sat through 12 hours of Marvel movie madness at the theater directly preceding the screening of The Avengers. Starting at noon, a few cohorts and I (including my 6 and 9 year old sons) braved achy behinds to sit in a theater for both Iron Man movies, the Incredible Hulk, Thor and Captain America before the grand unveiling of The Avengers at Midnight. Now this was either the coolest thing, or the stupidest but it was definitely the nerdiest thing I’ve done in a while. Is till can’t tell if it will sway my review more to the positive since it was like being injected with super-movie-watching-serum right before the premiere, or it dulled my senses due to the mind numbing monotony of explosions, muscles and testosterone. But here it goes anyway.

The Avengers is AWESOME! There I said it. Now, I am coming at this film they way it was intended. It will never be a cinematic masterpiece, a brave commentary on society, a showcase for the finest acting of our time or and artistic portrayal of existentialism…but as pure entertainment, this is one of the best out there. If you haven’t seen the film then you should just go out and see it. Judging by the opening weekend numbers it seems like the entire planet pretty much has already seen it. If you have not, I will briefly explain why you should.

ACTION: Seriously, an action scene that lasts like an Hour!! I know that may sound tedious but its done with so much bravado, expert pacing and smart exposition it feels like the scene keeps refreshing itself into even bigger, badder and better.

CHARACTERS: Yeah, we’ve seen all the other movies so we know who they are, but here each of the superheroes gets to grow into themselves. Much more is revealed about the Black Widow and Hawkeye, and we get great glimpses of all of their greatest weaknesses since putting them all in the same room together is akin to pacing them in a mirrored funhouse to their gigantic ids…cool

SPECIAL EFFECTS: This could be tied to the action scenes but there are so many ludicrous things going on it could have easily have delved into cheesy. Instead, it’s pure over-the-top-mind-blowing rad!

HUMOR: I’m not talking slapstick here but the wit of Downey Jr. coupled with the hodgepodge cast of misfit-bruised egos creates some genuinely funny banter. It’s the site gags that draw the biggest laughs though and thank goodness for the Hulks not so subtle strengths.

With that being said, I don’t think I will be doing a movie marathon like that again anytime soon. But for a once in a blue moon experience it sure was a blast. I don’t know if my kids will be grateful that I rubbed my nerdy off on them in the future or not, but I do know that the avengers are in good hands for the foreseeable future.

P.S. let me know if you want me to get more specific in my reviews (even include some spoilers). They seem a little vague to me….

Final Consensus:
See it now!!!!
See it in theaters!!!
Rent it on DVD/BluRay!!
Wait for it on TV!
Don’t Bother

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